I'm moving up in the world - no longer am I the new boy in these parts.  there was even talk of moving me out of the basement.  The word 'promotion' was bandied about.  there's a new guy girl person in town and so half my work will be done for me this time!  That rocks - I think I might actually get to leave the office today.  Wonder what I'll do with all that spare time...

Woah, everyone move quietly to the side -majorly pissed drama teacher coming through

 Am I the only person who dreads the words 'Trust me it's going to be great' Run for the hills now folks - no good can come of this one

Buffy seems slightly narked at competition appearing  She doesn't do well on that scale.  Think someone should warn Amanda - after all, she tried to kill the last person who threatened her crown...

 Who needs legal qualifications at Wolfram and Hart Seems to me you'd be better off majoring in intrigue

Aww, look at all the ickle kiddies learning just how small their pond was  Welcome to the first steps into the big wide world

I don't get this kid  she goes out of her way it seems to get herself a reputation, then bitches about the fact she's got one...

I'd recommend major grovelling Not that I know all that much - my track record is less than shiny after all.

Lorne feels out on a limb Try being stuck in a basement sometime

 As always, Tara is the voice of reason  Bless her cottons

Trust me sweetie, compared to your roomie you're an angel and everyone loves you

Wow, Oz expressed doubts  Not something you see everyday

Doesn't sound like there's a whole lot you're not missing Yet nobody ever goes away *hums strains of Hotel California*

Eww

Now I  know what'll start world war three  They have to explode and destroy wach other sooner or later

Jan does some research and comes to completely the wrong conclusions Well, they do say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing

Next they'll be discussing life, the universe and everything  since I think they covered every other topic here

Cordy gets total recall But what we want to know, my dear, is  where did you bite him?

Hate to be the bleating voice of doom But I'm going to be - run away!   Run away!!

Yeah, take it from me - telling a girl you love her will always lead to pain and suffering

Finally the old man admits defeat  and rolls out the big guns - or, at least, the small redheaded gun

Oh look, Anya's being rude to people  Somethings never change

Now, I have been told that plagarism is bad, possibly a crime. Personally, I consider it my ticket to getting out of here whilst it's still light outside...

And with that, I'm gonna grab my coat, switch off the computer and leave the rest of this crap to my good friend Colleague here...

I think I have an ulcer.  Maybe I shuld go see a doctor about it - it's all the stress and overwork, I just know it is.  And I probably won't have time to see anybody about it and it'll burst and I'll die horribly.  Probably nobody will miss me until the smell of my decomposing corpse strats to interfere with the plesant atmosphere of the offices of those who actually get to see daylight.  Nobody cares about me stuck down in the basement with only my cigarettes and caffiene to keep me going.  But they'll miss me when I'm gone, I tell you!

Janice turns for help to someone who's been ded for the best part of the lsat century  Clutching at straws a bit cutie, aren't we?

Anyone else have a hard time working out which of these two has lost the most marbles  Really is a close run thing

My aren't you the bouncy little one?  And you hear all those tales about Slayer consistitution - wonder if they're true...

Who the hell is this guy?  And how come he seems to have beeter luck with women than I do?  That is so unfair...

Does this guy never stop bitching?  No wonder she wants nothing to do with you, just get on with it, would ya?

This lady scares me  I mean, really - she makes me glad I'm stuck down here in this basement and not anywhere that's remotely in her way.

Yes!  Going up to the place that you contemplated suicide from sounds like a peachy plan! But I guess in a town like Sunnydale, you have to make your own fun, right?

Aww, the little cutie plays detective.  Baby, you can stalk me any day...

Whine, whine, whine - that's all he ever does.  Course, she's no angel of vurtue either - maybe they deserve each other.  And hell, if it leave Cutie over there free and single, it's got my vote...

Giles reaches a dead end Well, nice to know the guy's not infallible

Wahey - Billy boy gets down to it at last.  Was beginning to wonder about that boy.  Course, his choice of a formerly dead woman could have been better...

But he seems to think she's okay.  Hell, he even went back for more.

One man's meat is another man's poison, or so they say and whilst Billy boy makes hay, Jordan seems to be slowly wilting away.

Knew it wouldn't be long before those two skipped town After all, who cares about friends when you can have money, right?

Buffy bemoans the loss of her boyfriend  I mean, that's low - if he didn't want to be around her anymore, least he could have done was dump her.  Ten maybe I could have had a chance. What?  A guy's gotta make plans just in case Cutie turns me down.

Again

I stopped trying to understand this one a loooong time ago

Lookie - Split Cordy down the middle and you end up with the greed on one side and the bitch on the other.  Shouldn't there be a nice side and a nasty side?

Yeah, yeah - so you got laid.  No need to rub it in for us poor saps that aren't getting any, you know.

And so we go from oversexed to sickeningly cute.  Urg, I think I preferred the jealousy invoked by Christian's posing than this

My God - the juvenile deliquent actually makes an effort to be nice.  She must be possessed.

Oh, because this isn't awkward at all, is it?  She's just found out that her two best blokes slept with her greatest enemy, you're shagging her grandma (or if you're not you're damn close to it) who has to die for her to come back.  Hmm, I don't see a good outcome in this situation...

Hey, guy - it's a local paper - nobody bloody reads it.  Trust me, I know - or else someone would have noticed my sparkling wit and turn of phrase by now...

Sometimes it takes an outsider to notice the bloody obvious.  You up for building bridges, or you just going to watch them fall apart?  Personally, I'm hoping for the latter - it'd be a laugh and there might be column inches in it.

Ahh, looks like the Great Brooding One beat ya to it.  Bad luck there.

Oh God, more teen angst - haven't we had enough of this already?

Deadlines, deadlines - who the hell works on a Sunday evening?  Well, if the stunningly empty building is any indication the answer to that is me.  Just me to be precise.  Me and my little desk in the basement, overflowing with papers and cigarette butts as I try and make the ridiculous deadline for this piece of shit piece they've seem fit to land on me at the last minute.  Like the whole world will end if it doesn't make the early edition.  Yeah, right.

Finally - the Prom that will not end grinds to a close.  Anyone else hoping for the world to end before next year?

So, let me get this straight - you forget about your girl, you cheat on her with her best friend and her worst enemy and then you abandon her to demons at the prom.  Hell, you're worse with women that I am and that's really saying something!

Just one thing springs to mind - huh?

Personally, if some guy turned up in my house, when I wasn't there, and said that my dead grandmother told him it was okay I'd skip the whole 'making him poptarts' thing and go straight to the 'Hmm, do I call the police or the looney bin' option.  But hey, that's just me.

Prom fallout take one - the werewolf.  Poor ickle boy is all confused because his carefully coollected harem is starting to bitch.  Shouldn't be so fucking greedy then, should you?  Tell you what, I'll take the cute redhead off your hands for ya.  Simple it up a bit.

Angel and Oz manage to talk without really speaking - why does this no surprise me?

Angel does his best impression of an answering machine.  You know - that's actually very good.

She's back.  Wonder where she'll end up this time?

Prom fallout take two - the key.  Except this one seems to be dealing.  Ahh the joys of being the observer - and being more concerned with when you're going to be able to get it on with your older boyfriend (hmm, what was that comment about jailbait again...)

Sorry - I have no idea what this girl's going on about.  Anyone translate?

Hey - I actually think I got some of that.  Must be my gift for languages...

Lie, lie, lie - women are such two faced bitches.  Right, so you only didn't tell her about the threesome to save her feelings.  Of course

Prom fallout take three - the Slayer Hope that she didn't end up driving the poor girl to the hospital - that's gotta fall under 'cruel and unusual punishment'

Prom fallout take four - the cute redhead Hmm, you'd think she'd be more cut up about her date going off with the blonde bimbo.  Maybe now's my chance to get in there and woo her with my charm and panache...

Women are weird.  She thinks she's lucky to have been in a car crash because it meant she avoided being at a prom attacked by demons...  Really don't think either is a sunny alternative.

Prom fallout take five - the potential Short, concise.  I like this girl.

Variety is the spice of life.  And who said vampires weren't amphibious?

Wise man.  Avoid the teenage hormone fest that was the nightmare prom and concentrate on the interior decorating.  Wait, hold on, sure that fell down somewhere....

Well, aren't they good at keeping their cards close to their chests?  Didn't see that one coming at all

Prom fallout take five-point-one Knew the short and sweet crap was too good to be true - girl's like the chatty stuff, don't they?

Prom fallout take six - the Watcher Anyone else thing it really weird that this guy gets all excited when faced with such a large amount of utter weirdness?

I'll never get women.  I've said it before, I'll say it again.  He treats her like shit, ignores her, shouts at her, forgets her existence and yet she still wants to save his life - and they're not even dating!  This woman has  to be some kind of masochist.

Am I the only one that finds the idea of an insane vampire that rips people's bones out scary rather than cute?  because that's how it seems to me.

Anya - you can always rely on her to tell you the downside of something after it's potentially gone wrong.  So really not surprised at how fast she ran home...

You'd think, wouldn't you, that he'd work out what was going on before hitting on her again.  See, if that were me, I probably would have considered myself lucky to only have got a slap...  Oh hell, I've love to be able to do things to that little red head to earn myself a slap...

See, warned you that one day it'd all catch up with you.  Juggling all those women, that little house of cards was bound to come falling down sooner or later.  That offer to take some of them off your hands ifs still open there friend.